Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
