we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
