hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
