Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
