is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize