guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
kristin has been a bad kristin
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
