Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
