His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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