I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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