I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
