My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
