Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
