Having a random hookup so left but love u
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
