you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
