So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
