Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
