i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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