i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
