So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
