My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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