Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
