If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
