I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
