For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
