I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
