i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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