She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
