We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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