when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
