Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
