he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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