before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
