She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
