so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
