i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
