I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
