I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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