that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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