Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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