he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
