i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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