Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
