make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
