I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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