i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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