stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
