I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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