This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
