a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
