i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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